I have demons in me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
