kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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