Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
