I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
