The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's rum buckets o'clock
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
