I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
