im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
