I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
