I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
