i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
