She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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