JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My feet surprised me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
