I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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