my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
