so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There r osticjed everywhere
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
