Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
