I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
