I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
