so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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