Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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