dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
