Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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