I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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