isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
