I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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