You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
