Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
