Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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