She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
