what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
are you so shy because you have an std?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
