So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
