i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize