just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
