There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
