He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
