he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
