Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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