I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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