You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
