I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
