Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
