Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i've created a new STD.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
