She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize