Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize