I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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