wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
