Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
