it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
