used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
worst night to have a conscience
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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