community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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