i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im six kinds of drunk right now
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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