he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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