According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize