i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
