im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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