I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
