Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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