1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
