Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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