Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
