Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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