u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
