I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
