yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
