I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize