So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
