apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We have started to decorate penises.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
