The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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