Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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